I made a surprising decision this past weekend….
I turned down a dream job. Or at least, a really favorable career path for me at my current company.
Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. I endlessly mulled over it, and drove several people crazy in the process. But you know what? I feel so proud for being honest with myself and for following my gut.
I hadn’t even been offered the job, so maybe saying I turned down the job isn’t an accurate portrayal of the situation. I was one of the few final candidates and I felt in my core that I would be an amazing fit for the role, but I realized the opportunity wasn’t an amazing fit for me.
Sighhhhhh. How could this be?
I have never put so much work into a resume before. It was my best one yet. I even made fun marketing collateral to turn in with my resume and it got me the attention I was hoping for. I had great feedback from the manager, and things were sounding really promising.
Let me back up a little bit and give you a synopsis of my current career situation. After I graduated from Arizona State I joined my company by way of it’s world class call center. I mean that, my employer takes so much pride in its call center and rightfully so.
The training program was rigorous and all encompassing. It took 2 months to get through, and my dad even joked that some of his plane certifications aren’t even that long. Haha, gee that puts things into perspective.
After about a year and a half, my current boss took a chance with me, hiring me on as her assistant totally thinking I had it together. I didn’t. Naivety and a positive attitude were on my side. 4.5 years later, she hasn’t kicked me to the curb yet. I’m confident in saying that I’ve come a long way.
Naturally, after 4.5 years in the same job, I’m starting to feel the tinge of “what’s next?” Well, I think I know what’s next, and it has nothing to do with my employer, and everything to do with me and my passions and choosing to put my energy into what fuels me.
When you spend the first 18 years of your life measuring up to certain successes; developmental milestones, grades in school, getting into college, getting that good job, etc., it’s hard to establish your own realistic measure of success. When I say realistic, I mean relative to you and the life you live, and where you are in your journey. Not comparing to everyone’s social media highlights.
Something I am learning to accept in my professional life, is that, chances are I’m probably in one of the best jobs for my personality and work environment requirements. I love interacting with people and assisting with a lot of different things, I love putting my creative touch on events and meetings. My job provides me with amazing benefits and stability for me and my family.
So, why am I so restless?
Because I’ve been focusing on what I can’t do.
I’ve been extremely disheartened by being rejected for a handful of jobs. And here I am, one of the final candidates for a job that I would have once considered a dream job for me at my current company, and I turn down my second interview with the group.
Am I a twisted individual? No.
I have come to realize that I need to truly listen to me, and keep following my hunches. That gut feeling we all know… I need to keep listening to that.
I’ve also learned that fear is going to accompany any decision I make in my life. The greater the risk, the more afraid I’ll probably feel. But I’m going to choose to let that fear sit with the excitement of the adventure I’m about to embark on. I’m going to welcome it in, and let it teach me more about myself.
There’s a quote I keep seeing everywhere, “Bloom where you are planted.”
If it wasn’t for being in my current job, there’s a chance that I wouldn’t have the platform to even type these words to you right now. If I was in a high stress physically demanding job, like dream job could have been, I wouldn’t be energetically available or have the time to pursue my passions.
If you find yourself in a similar situation as me where you feel a little stuck, ask yourself why? Why do you feel stuck? Or perhaps, why do you care that you’re stuck? If your answer is, I’m not learning anything new or not feeling engaged in my work, then start seeking new things on your free time. Start that art class or watch that how to video on you tube.
Once that passion is sparked, its like a domino effect. Don’t go looking for it, start small with what you CAN do.
I invite you to join me in stopping the self doubt and focus on what I CAN do. Stop defining yourself by your corporate self or by the restraints that are seemingly holding you back. Stop holding your life against any timelines… take it day by day. Enrich your own life and be your own person.
Have you ever turned down an opportunity or job? I would love to hear about your experiences.